Lucky Number 3??

This is the 4th try, but it's the third "fresh" round (the type of round where we start from the beginning, growing eggs and hoping for embryos).  We're hoping very much this is lucky #3!!  So far, it's been the best round.  They were able to retrieve 8 eggs, 7 of which were mature.  Of those 7, 5 fertilized.  Of those 5, 4 continued to grow.  We didn't know until the morning of the embryo transfer (yesterday) whether any of those 4 would be left - since they get left alone for 2 days before the transfer.  The morning of, we found out that they were all still developing, but some more quickly than others.  We opted to transfer 2 embryos - haven't tried that yet!!  Then we had to wait another day to find out whether the other 2 were able to continue development and hit the mark where they could be frozen.  And holy crap, if they didn't.  We got 4 embryos out of this round.  I still can't believe it.

It's easy to get too wrapped up in the misery.  The waiting, the hoping, the failure.  I was so excited in the beginning.  Excited to get started, because this will start our family.  Because with all the information we had at that time, this was the solution.  But that round ended terribly, and we just kept getting bad news.  When the last round ended with not a single embryo, I felt like I had been punched in the face.  I told my hubby the other week that I felt like someone told me we were going "glamping" but when I got there, there was no bathroom, tents with holes in them, mosquitoes everywhere, and a bear ate our snacks.  It's hard to be excited when you have no snacks.  Then something happened.  I was talking to a co-worker about the next round, doing my very best emo-kid-here-we-go-again and she got excited.  Like, we were on the phone and by the sound of her voice, I think she was ready to jump up and down.  I feel like that flipped a switch for me.  Helped bring me back to myself, well, as much of myself as I can be.  The sunshine is helping, too (although definitely missing it the last few days!)

To recap: 2 in the uterus, 2 in the freezer, and 2 weeks to wait for a pregnancy test.  2 weeks is forever to wait for the answer, but luckily I have plenty of work to do for school and for work so I actually think the time will go by pretty quickly.

Egg Retrieval take 3!

Quick update. Egg retrieval was today. They were able to get 8 eggs. I'm in less pain than I was after the second one, so I'm happy with that! Tomorrow we will see what fertilized! Stay tuned!

Day 10 again

The last cycle took something out of me.  Though, I should probably say all of the prior rounds took something out of me, and it just really piled up.  Luckily, I have an awesome bestie that lives in Florida.  I took a long weekend there (though, let's be real...long weekends are not long enough!!) to recharge my batteries a bit.  Most of my time off of work the last year has been spent on bloodwork, procedures, and those devastating mental health days.  I was absolutely thrilled to get some time away (and see one of my very best friends).  I don't know if it was the sunshine, my girlfriend, or just the break but I'm feeling a little more like me.  Or, rather, a better version of me.  I'm asking more questions and being more assertive.  It's helping me feel like I have control over this, even though there is no way to really have any control.  Also, now it's finally (maybe) spring.  I keep driving by farms with colts nursing from their mothers, and little lambs running around...it's refreshing and sparks hope!

So, not a whole lot to write about before.  The cycles are pretty boring.  Shots in the evening, bloodwork and ultrasound in the morning, results and updated dosing in the afternoon.  Repeat. Oh, and the rest of my life fits in there, too...work, school, etc.  My first appointment was on day 4, then 6, 8, 9, and finally today day 10.  Here is the best part: that's it!!  The first round went 12 days, the second fresh round went 15.  There is something about hitting day 12 that starts to feel disheartening.  I feel completely exhausted, starting to get a little hopeless, my skin hurts where the injections go, just all around feel awful.  Not this time, though.  This time 10 days is it!  Tonight (well, early tomorrow morning) we do the 'trigger' shot.  That's the last one.  It's administered 36 hours before the egg retrieval procedure, which will be Friday afternoon.  This round my meds were changed up.  That seemed to have done the trick, but we're still at wait and see.  They still have to retrieve the eggs, then they have to fertilize and mature enough to transfer next Wednesday.  But, for now, I'm so excited to be at the end of the meds portion of this round and ready for retrieval on Friday.  A good friend pointed out that this process is all about baby steps.  Of course, that's the goal, too