Today was a roller coaster, again. I went in for an ultrasound and non stress test and was sent straight to the hospital. My amniotic fluid was really low, so they said baby comes today. While being induced, my water broke, leaving even less fluid. Then, she must have pinched the cord - 3 nurses came rushing in because her heart rate slowed a lot. I got oxygen, and got rolled around to get things back to normal, which we did, but the midwife came in to talk about what's next. The Dr put c-section on the table. With the extremely low fluid, there was a good chance her HR would dip again and if they couldn't get it back up, then it would mean an emergency c-section. That made me nervous because of all the scar tissue I have; I discussed with the Dr before and while it was totally doable, it was going to be a(nother) significant surgery. I wanted to avoid the emergency bit, and also was panicked about her safety, so we decided to schedule the surgery. They had to cut out my original scar, that is vertical down my belly. It took an hour to get her out and me put back together (most of which was putting me back together!). It's going to be one hell of a recovery, but she is here and safe and perfect.
Truthfully, I'm still disappointed because I feel like my body failed me again. I just thought labor and delivery would be easy for me, but that was out of my control. I think that this defeat is a feeling I will always have: not being able to get pregnant on my own and then not being able to deliver vaginally. I'll never really know whether it was the right decision, but now I've got SIDS to worry about lol
