Today was a roller coaster, again. I went in for an ultrasound and non stress test and was sent straight to the hospital. My amniotic fluid was really low, so they said baby comes today. While being induced, my water broke, leaving even less fluid. Then, she must have pinched the cord - 3 nurses came rushing in because her heart rate slowed a lot. I got oxygen, and got rolled around to get things back to normal, which we did, but the midwife came in to talk about what's next. The Dr put c-section on the table. With the extremely low fluid, there was a good chance her HR would dip again and if they couldn't get it back up, then it would mean an emergency c-section. That made me nervous because of all the scar tissue I have; I discussed with the Dr before and while it was totally doable, it was going to be a(nother) significant surgery. I wanted to avoid the emergency bit, and also was panicked about her safety, so we decided to schedule the surgery. They had to cut out my original scar, that is vertical down my belly. It took an hour to get her out and me put back together (most of which was putting me back together!). It's going to be one hell of a recovery, but she is here and safe and perfect.
Truthfully, I'm still disappointed because I feel like my body failed me again. I just thought labor and delivery would be easy for me, but that was out of my control. I think that this defeat is a feeling I will always have: not being able to get pregnant on my own and then not being able to deliver vaginally. I'll never really know whether it was the right decision, but now I've got SIDS to worry about lol
Congratulations, what a day, but your beautiful daughter is here and healthy.
ReplyDeleteSteph, you are a momma! It doesn't matter how it happened, the fact is that beautiful miracle is here and healthy. Congrats. SIDS is nothing, it's the teenage years that keep me up!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy for you. Congratulations on your bundle of joy. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteYour body didn't fail you. It gave you a lovely baby congrats guys
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!!! Doesn't matter how she was conceived doesn't matter how she was delivered all that matters is she has amazing parents to raise her and love her with all they have. YOU DID IT!!!! Don't ever take that away from yourself!!! You baked a healthy baby for 40 weeks!
ReplyDeleteIt's totally normal to feel that way. I still feel that way sometimes, like I'm somehow less of a woman because my body couldn't get my babies out on its own. Try not to doubt yourself. You made the best decision you could and Scarlett is here safe and sound. I think you're amazing! Try to let people help you while you recover. I have the week of February 20th off, if you need me, I'm there. Love ya! Becky
ReplyDeleteThat is awesome girlie! It doesn't matter how she got here... She is here and That is all that matters! I am so excited for you! Congratulations!!!
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