Schrodinger's Baby

This morning was ultrasound #2. First one was great. Everything has been fine. I'm just hungry a lot, and thirsty, too. And tired. I've never actually drank the amount of water I'm supposed to, but now I'm exceeding it and I have to admit my skin looks great. Minus a few breakouts, but that's par for the preggers course I suppose.

This morning I had to get up at 5:30am. This isn't terrible, except when you're already tired and nervous and sleep does not come that easily. So I was groggy and my eyes only half open, you know the drill. Until there was blood. A little blood, but still blood. And there shouldn't be blood. So, now I'm wide awake and my heart is racing. To the Googles...which says it could be something or nothing. Helpful. I decided not to tell the hubbs yet, because why should both of us be in panic mode the whole way to the Dr? So I get ready and we get on the road, early of course, because I have to get there.

The 2 week wait is long. Until you are at the end, then the 5-6 hour wait for the blood test results feels longer than 2 weeks. Those are nothing compared to the short window between seeing blood and having the ultrasound. 1 hour 45 mins to get ready and get to the Dr's office. The way down, we were both nervous (since we're right about where we previously miscarried), me a little extra nervous (blood, and is that a cramp? Maybe not...). I made a joke about Schrodinger's cat. Until you open the box, the cat is both dead and alive. If you don't open the box, then you don't have to deal with the outcome. I seriously considered not stopping. But I did, because I had to know.

I mention it to hubbs right before the Dr came in, because I felt like I should at least tell him before them. I mention it to the Dr (well, she's technically a PA) and ultrasound tech. Probably nothing, let's find out.

And everything was perfect. Baby is measuring correctly, heart rate is a solid 161. Now we "graduate" and are released to my obgyn. Where we will be next Thursday. Every good appointment is a step in the right direction, but the risk of loss will never go down to '0' until the baby is out and crying (and yes, I know even after that there will be other worries. One day at a time).

So we live out here on the edge now, where until we get to see with the ultrasound, there is both good news and bad news. At least today, there is good news.