Holding out hope

Today is supposed to be transfer day. Wednesday evening was our retrieval. They only collected 5 eggs this time and of those five, just 2 fertilized. The Dr expected that 3 would have, but that was a minor bump. Friday, only one had developed, but there was still time for the other one since they started later in the day than the other embryos there, but they all get checked at the same time in the morning. We waited this weekend and got a call this morning. Definitely down to 1, but it's not where it needs to be to transfer. So we need to wait one more day. Either it's behind, or it's done growing. Tomorrow we will know.

This has been the longest cycle so far. We went 15 days of meds, up from the 12 last time. I know usually 3 days isn't a lot, but this was. The medication is so expensive and we kept having to order more. My skin started to really hurt with the injections. I keep hoping that the wait is worth it, but I fear that this longest cycle is a bust. The longer we go, the more difficult it becomes to be hopeful and positive. We just need this one little embryo to be strong and keep growing.

I've always been pretty good at rolling with the punches. Changing plans has never bothered me. I can get back up after I've been knocked down. But being a mom was never a plan I thought I'd have to adjust. I feel like it's getting harder to get back up after these blows. There are still so many what ifs, and one of them still ends with the embryo being transferred tomorrow. So, for today, we just wait and hope...