The journey continues...

We had our second ultrasound today.  7 weeks, 1 day.  And the heartbeat is too slow; less than half of what it should be at this stage.  I could see it on the screen before they even said it out loud.  Next Monday, we check again just to be sure, but I appreciated the honesty in the room today - this is not getting better.  Another crushing blow.  They let us slip out the back door today, so we didn't have to go back through the waiting room.  I could tell that it broke her heart to be honest, and the look on the young nurse's face when we were walking out...it's like they share in the loss a bit, too.

The worst part, is that we haven't miscarried.  Not yet.  But the writing is on the wall.  It's like I'm standing on the train tracks, but the button I have to stop the train doesn't work and there is nothing I can do.  It's frustrating and heartbreaking and just awful.

I am sad.  We are sad.  There is no way to not be disappointed.  Maybe I'll feel a little more optimistic tomorrow...