#sciencebaby

It's currently trending in the Brown household.  Why?  Because we are so excited to finally start our family.  And we are so lucky to be able to finally do just that, thanks to science.

This is not the path that we envisioned, or would have chosen, but this is the path that we find ourselves traveling.  We hit a roadblock on the last path, and we are kind of stubborn.  So, instead of giving up, we picked a new route.

I always knew I would be a mom.  I thought I might be a teacher or a marine biologist, but mother was always in the plan.  I had a plan.  I wanted to be a wife first, for a little while.  Build a solid foundation with my husband before bringing kids along.  Maybe travel a bit.  Really be ready.

So, I met my husband in college.  Yes, at a party and, yes, we had a great time.  But maybe that one is not for the grandkids...

Shortly into it, he knew that I was an animal lover and missing my pets at home.  So, he got me a cat (Kitty, the very best cat around!).  Three years into our relationship, we were both out of college and living on our own together, where we brought home our second cat, Princess Fuzzy Paws (more commonly known at Kitters).  By 5 years, we had bought our first home, and filled it with our new pups: Duchess, and then Duke.  At 8 years, we finally tied the knot.  Then, we made our 'baby bucket list'.  Admittedly, it was a little late...we had really done a lot by then!  Shortly after the wedding, we honeymooned in Jamaica (item #1).  Then, in year 10, we completed the baby bucket list with our Europe trip to Ireland and Germany.

Finally, it was time.  All the items checked off the list.  We started trying.  Or, rather, we stopped NOT trying.  At first, I didn't track anything.  I mean, it's easy, right?  We all learned how this works pretty early on.  Months went by with no happy face on the tests.  Here's a fun fact: if you have tried to get pregnant on your own for a year, and have been unsuccessful, you are considered infertile.  That's it.  One year, before there are any tests or further evaluation.  When I called my doctor to discuss and see whether we needed to have testing, they immediately used that word.  Infertility.  I wasn't ready for that word yet.  So we tested.  And tested.  And in the midst of testing, my gall bladder gave in and that had to come out.  Then more testing.  Hubbs checked out fine, by the way.  My ovarian reserve was low, but not too low.  I didn't appear to be ovulating.  Then, the final blow: scar tissue was blocking one of my fallopian tubes.  The other appeared to be open, but there was no guarantee that it was undamaged.  Three months of the medication to stimulate ovulation didn't work: it was time to see a specialist.

So we went to a fertility clinic.  We discussed the results and the options.  The choice was pretty clear: we need to route around the fallopian tubes.  In Vitro Fertilization is the answer.  With IVF, we will be using our own parts, but not depending on my one tube that may be working to carry them where they need to be.

Some days, I feel guilty that my body has failed me in this way.  I feel angry, sad, hopeless...there are still so many things that can go wrong.

But, here's the thing: I'm also hopeful.  Because I'm stubborn.  Because I'm not a quitter.  Because I'm meant for this.  Because WE'RE meant for this.  Because in 1978, the first IVF baby was born.  Because since 1978, over 5 million IVF babies have been born.  Because I am beyond lucky to have an amazing partner in this, and in life.  Because science.

So, if you are interested, I will try to keep up with documenting our adventure.  If you aren't interested, then don't read it.  We are excited for our #sciencebaby and hope that you will be, too.

If all goes as planned, #sciencebaby may be transferred at the end of August.  Stay tuned :)